March 4
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Although it is a beloved and often quoted verse, it is also one that is most frequently misunderstood. I am guilty of misunderstanding this verse. Admittedly, for years I thought this verse meant God would give me a “blank check” and that he was a cosmic vending machine waiting (and wanting) to give me whatever I asked of Him. As long as I did the “right things:" regularly attend church, do some tithing, a little volunteering, occasional help at church, open my Bible every once in a while, and seek Him (pray) when I needed something - then God would give me the desires of my heart. There were many things I desired. I had a long list of items, most of which were material possessions and wealth. (Even now as I type this, I’m shaking my head that I viewed God like this for so many years.) When God didn’t give me what I desired, I questioned His love. I doubted He cared and resigned myself to the fact that God wasn’t concerned about me. During this time, I also struggled with a pornography addiction. Many, many times I desired to quit the addiction. God, if you love me, you’ll take away the addiction. God, I’m trying to do the right things. Please take away my addiction. At times, I’d increase doing the “right things” hoping God would respond by taking away the addiction. It didn’t happen, and I further questioned God and His care and love for me.
It took many more years of questioning God and attending a weekly recovery group before I started seeing this verse in a different light. One of the things I learned in recovery work was that I was trying to fill a “God-sized” void in my heart with things of the world and not with things of the One who created me and created my heart. Nothing ever filled that void. No matter how I tried to fill it - or what I tried to fill it with - I remained empty. The night I surrendered and asked God to come and fill that void, was the night things began changing. While still very much a “work in progress” and far from always getting it right, my number one desire is to make God the centerpiece of my life - to delight in Him. I desire to seek Him, His character, His presence, and His will. These are the things that bring me joy and happiness - - and the void continues to be filled with God.
“Take delight in the Lord.” As I do this, my heart becomes aligned with what God desires. My heart starts to beat in sync with His. I desire more of what He desires: holiness, love, peace, and justice. I desire less of what the world says will bring me success, happiness, joy, and peace. I have less desire for possessions. The desires of my heart have changed. I see a bit more clearly that when I “take delight in the Lord, he will give me the desires of my heart.”
Father - My heart is often full of desires that leave me feeling empty and disheartened. Soften my heart toward You, and help me find my deepest pleasure is being in Your presence. As I delight in who You are - Your love, Your justice, Your kindness - I ask that You would reshape my desires to be more like Yours. Make my heart beat for what Yours beats for. In Your name we pray. Ame